


Swan Song

by redangeleve



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Fainting, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, M/M, Major Illness, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Platonic Relationships, Sad, Worried Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redangeleve/pseuds/redangeleve
Summary: Headaches were nothing new for Obi-Wan.In fact, he had been suffering from migraine-like attacks since his time as a Padawan. But with time he learned to live with it. He tried to release the pain into the Force, to find peace in meditations and if nothing helped, to look for relieve in injecting himself painkillers. But over the years the attacks increased more and more and it became very difficult for him to do his duties without letting the others know about the pain.Until it got so bad that he passed out for the first time.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 14
Kudos: 210





	Swan Song

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling low for a few days, so I wrote this sad little story.

Headaches were nothing new for Obi-Wan. 

In fact, he had been suffering from migraine-like attacks since his time as a Padawan. His Master Qui-Gon had once jokingly said after a particularly severe attack that it was the result of him worrying to much. But even if there should be a spark of truth in these words, Obi-Wan just couldn't get out of his skin. That's just the way he was. But with time he learned to live with it. He tried to release the pain into the Force, to find peace in meditations and if nothing helped, to look for relieve in injecting himself painkillers. But over the years the attacks increased more and more and it became very difficult for him to do his duties without letting the others know about the pain.

Until it got so bad that he passed out for the first time.

Thanks to the Force he was alone in his quarters when the pain overpowered him and he finally just collapsed. First everything went black and suddenly there was nothing at all. Obi-Wan could not say how long he had been gone when he found himself on the floor. He was lucky that he hadn't hit his head when he fell. At least not this time, but it didn't stop with one time. Obi-Wan knew he should confide in someone or see a healer, but the more time passed, the less he could afford a weakness. The Republic was at war, and his men needed him. Anakin and Ahsoka needed him. So he went on and hid his illness as best as he could.

Until it finally happened on the bridge of the „Negotiator“.

For months, they had been hurrying from battle to battle. Fighting on countless planets, destroying thousands of droids. Still, it was never enough. A new mission was always waiting for them. Another battle in the seemingly endless war against the Separatists and the Sith. 

The day it happened, Obi-Wan had barely slept for several nights. His body was battered, full of bruises and abrasions, his neck was stiff, and no matter how hard he tried, his discomfort seeped into the Force like ink, dulling and dirtying its bright light. Basically, he was functioning only on autopilot. A dull pain was hammering behind his eyes all the time, so that his field of vision became blurry again and again, so he pinched the bridge of his nose several times to be able to see clearly. Nevertheless it did not get better. 

On the contrary, while he was in a briefing with Anakin, Captain Rex and Commander Cody and tried to follow the explanations of his former Padawan, he suddenly had the feeling, as if he could hear everything only through cotton wool. His sense of balance went crazy and he had to hold on to the controls, when a sudden dizziness overtook him, in order not to fall on his knees. Confused, Obi-Wan blinked, trying not to let the others notice his indisposition. Silently, he prayed that the meeting was finally over and he could withdraw under an excuse. But the discussion continued and the pressure in his head increased until he felt the blood pulsating in his carotid artery and temples, then suddenly there was something warm coming out of his nose and Obi-Wan instinctively wiped it off, only to find his fingers wet with blood afterwards.

Surprised he watched the red drops on his hand with a frown, not really worried about the fact that he suddenly got a nosebleed until he noticed that it had suddenly become completely quiet on the bridge and when he lifted his gaze from his hand, he had to realize that all eyes were on him. 

"I'm fine," Obi-Wan hurried to reassure the others, when suddenly cold sweat broke out all over his skin, then the room went completely sideways. He stumbled, fell and was unconscious before he hit the floor.

<<<<<>>>>>

Obi-Wan didn't have to open his eyes to know that he was in the infirmary. The sweet smell of bacta made that very clear. The feeling of the starched sheets on his bare feet told him that he had obviously been changed. A circumstance that might have bothered him normally, but the way things were, Obi-Wan didn't manage to worry about it. Around him, he heard whispered voices and someone seemed to hold his hand to make sure he knew that he wasn't alone. He still felt a dull pressure in his head but it was bearable, so that he finally decided to dare to open his eyes. 

The first thing he saw when he blinked was Anakin's worried face. His former apprentice sat on a chair to his right. Apparently it was him also, who held his hand, because when he recognized that Obi-Wan was about to wake up, the pressure on his fingers increased. "Master," the young Jedi spoke to him gently. "How do you feel?"

Obi-Wan forced himself to smile. "I'm fine," he replied, though he knew his former Padawan would hardly believe him in the face of the situation. In fact Anakin acknowledged the statement of his former teacher with a snort and from the other side of the bed he heard clear sounds of displeasure, too. When Obi-Wan let his eyes wander he saw that the other voices he had heard belonged to Captain Rex and Commander Cody. The two clones stood on the left side of the bed and almost had the same, sincerely distraught expression on their faces as they watched him.

It was Rex who finally spoke to him first. "You gave us quite a scare, General."

And Cody added, "And not just us. Doc thought you were hiding another serious injury from the last battle."

Obi-Wan could picture this perfectly. Probably the clone had him upside down looking for any possible bleeding. "There is no need to worry," the Jedi Master tried to calm them both while he adjusted the headboard of his bed with the remote control so he could sit. "I was simply exhausted."

"I don't think so, Master," Anakin replied firmly. "Your aura in the Force is quite different from someone who is just tired. Flickering and muffled, as if you are sick."

"Nonsense, I'm fine," Obi-Wan dared to contradict again.

"No, you're not," another voice was heard as the clone medic entered the room. Doc's face was serious as he turned to the assembled visitors. "Rex, Cody, will you please leave us alone? I need to speak with General Kenobi in private. The same to you, General Skywalker."

In the flicker of an eye Obi-Wan's former apprentice was on his feet and had the opposition on his lips. Of course, Anakin didn't want to let himself be sent away so easily, and even if Doc forced him to obey his orders, he would harass Obi-Wan afterwards until he told him what the clone had said. So it was easier if he didn't leave the room in the first place. Besides, there was this small part of Obi-Wan that actually found the presence of his former Padawan comforting. "Anakin can stay," he let the clone know. "I have no secrets from him."

"As you wish," Doc replied as he watched Rex and Cody say goodbye to Obi-Wan and leave the room together, then he cleared his throat before turning back to his patient. "After you passed out so unexpectedly, I took the liberty of scanning your body."

"The way you say that makes me suspect that you found something," Obi-Wan replied, who noticed at the same time how the Force began to pulsate around him worriedly.

"Indeed I did," the clone confirmed, making a sad expression on his face. "General Kenobi, you have an aneurysm in your head. That's a balloon-shaped bulge in an artery in your brain."

The pulsation in the Force grew stronger, darker, more ominous, and from the way Anakin's aura suddenly began to flicker, Obi-Wan could tell that his former apprentice felt it, too. Nevertheless, he tried to remain as calm as possible when he returned: "The way you say that, it doesn't sound really good.“

Doc smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid, it isn't. If there's a rupture in this artery, it could cause an uncontrolled cerebral bleeding, which could lead to death in the worst case."

The force rumbled like an approaching thunderstorm and Obi-Wan's heart beat painfully against his chest in the same rhythm. If he was honest, the news didn't come out of the blue. He had suspected something like this before. That's why he hadn't wanted to visit a healer. He had been afraid to hear the confirmation that he would not live much longer. Next to him Anakin sucked the air in sharply. "What can we do about it?" the young Jedi asked with a voice so strained that it sounded strange in Obi-Wan's ears.

"I fear not much," the clone medic confessed. "The location of the aneurysm makes an operation too risky. We could severely damage the brain trying to clip the artery. All we can do is make sure the artery doesn't rupture."

"And how do we do that?" Obi-Wan demanded to know.

Doc puffed out the air noisily before he replied, "That's the part I'm sure you'll not like. To keep your blood pressure within acceptable limits, you must resign from active duty. You must avoid stress, reduce physically strenuous activities, take regular breaks and get enough sleep."

The clone was absolutely right in his assumption. Obi-Wan didn't like what he was suggesting because it would mean abandoning them all. He would need to return to the temple and teach younglings for the rest of his days, or help Jocasta Nu with the archives. No, that was out of the question. Impossible. They were already hopelessly outnumbered in their fight against the Separatists. He would not abandon Anakin and his men and consign them to certain doom "You know as well as I do, that I can't do this," Obi-Wan replied firmly.

"Then you're in danger of dropping dead on the battlefield," Doc objected.

Obi-Wan nodded seriously. "I'll take that risk." And he meant it. In fact he already tried to forge a plan in his head how he could get Anakin and the clones to keep silent about his illness. The council wasn't allowed to know anything about his weakness, otherwise there was the danger that they would declare him unfit for duty and order him back even against his will. An undertaking which, as he knew his former Padawan, would not be easy. 

In fact, Anakin protested hardly after he finished his sentence. "Master, you can't be serious! You'll die if you don't listen to Doc!"

Obi-Wan could feel the fear and pain raging in the young Jedi, so that his otherwise bright aura was saturated with darkness. Compassionately he put a hand on his former apprentice's forearm, while at the same time he gave Doc a sign to leave them alone. "Anakin, at some point we all become one with the Force. That is the way of life."

"But I'm not ready to lose you yet." Anakin blurted out.

"Believe me, you'll never be," Obi-Wan replied with a wistful smile. "When my Master was killed by Darth Maul, I wasn't ready to let him go either, but the Force doesn't ask before it takes a life, and we have to learn to accept that." It might sound unbelievable, but despite the devastating diagnosis, Obi-Wan felt no fear. On the contrary, now that he knew that his end was only a matter of time, he felt at peace with the universe. He had grown tired of fighting, had lost too many loved ones. When his time had come and he would merge with the Force, as countless Jedi had done before him, he was ready to leave.

The tears shimmered in Anakin's blue eyes, like waves in the sea, as he placed his cybernetic hand over his former Master's in a possessive gesture, as if he could keep him alive through his physical presence alone. "But I don't want that. I need you."

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let his former Padawan hear the doctor's diagnosis, but after the Rako Hardeen fiasco they vowed not to keep secrets from each other. Poor Anakin, who could have guessed beck than that his death, which Obi-Wan had faked for the plan of the council, could become reality so fast. "My dear one, if you were still my Padawan, I would worry about what would become of you when I'm gone, but you are now a skillful Jedi Knight, and I am so proud of you. Besides, you're not alone: You have Padme and you have Ahsoka, Rex, Cody and the other clones, and I have every confidence that they will help you to find your way." To underline his words, Obi-Wan squeezed his former apprentice's arm tightly while he made him feel all the fondness and love he felt for him through their bond. 

Anakin's Force signature clung to Obi-Wan's own like he was drowning. Wrapped around it, interwoven with it and finally melted into one, while he flooded their connection with his feelings at the same time. Horror, pride, despair, love, sorrow, affection. But as much as Obi-Wan tried to make him feel that he got him and was there for him, he realized that it wasn't enough, so he finally moved aside in bed and gestured to his former apprentice to lie down next to him. That was all the invitation that Anakin needed. Within seconds he lay in Obi-Wan's arms, clung to him as he had done as a child and cried all the tears he couldn't hold back any longer and Obi-Wan comforted him as he had always done and would continue to do so as long as he was alive.

Warmly Anakin's head lay at his shoulder while the tears seeped into his tunic and Obi-Wan stroked his hair gently and calming. For a long moment none of them said anything, while they found comfort in each other, until Anakin finally got his language back. "Please, Master, promise me that you will not take any unnecessary risks. Try to stay alive as long as you can."

Obi-Wan knew this was beyond his control. He wouldn't be able to prevent them from being sent back into battle, and when his blood pressure went up ... still he would not make it so easy for death to claim him. After all, he didn't want to die. As long as he could, he would fight against it. "I will do what I can, but only if you promise me in return that when the time comes you will accept it. Don't torture yourself over my passing unnecessarily. I'll always be with you. just as Qui-Gon is with me."

Obi-Wan could feel Anakin tense up until he finally whispered barely audible against the fabric of his tunic, "I promise."


End file.
